Dancing, Singing, the Tears at the End

We came with a set of goals. We wanted to strengthen our relationships and collaboration. We wanted to build skills in leadership, teambuilding, and problem-solving. And we wanted to figure out our priorities for the next few months. And the beach—specifically the Sisters of Mercy retreat house at Sea Isle—seemed the place to tackle them.

But we left with things we did not expect. “The retreat helped me overcome my fear of being around people.” “I am a good encourager.” “I learned that I am a good person.” These were just a few responses to our time together.

The Resident Advisory Board is a group of resident leaders in the Project HOME community. It reflects the voices of our residents in eleven houses and serves as one of three leadership bodies at Project HOME, along with our Executive Team and our Board of Trustees. 

Fourteen members of the Resident Advisory Board, representing seven Project HOME permanent housing sites and alumni, gathered for a weekend at the beginning of winter. 

We did good work.  We clarified our charter and identified our 2015 priorities. 

But something else happened.  We got to connect with each other and ourselves. Someone walked on the beach for the first time in twenty-five years. Another jumped in the water; a third cooked pancakes for the first time. We helped one of us in a wheelchair get to the sea. The retreat was a vessel in which we got to care for each other and learn who we each were. 

Our theme was “We gather here as leaders…”  We explored models of leadership.  Servant leadership.  Leadership about seeing that everything around you goes well. The leadership of knowing yourself.  We talked about the qualities of good leaders:  integrity, courage, ability to nurture, listen, and build a strong team.

We got to cooperate. We cooked and cleaned all our food.  We had jobs that people took very seriously.

Bob fixed the industrial dishwasher when it broke down.  Darlene cleaned the whole kitchen late one night when our dinner clean-up didn’t cut it.  Valerie led a spirited song committee to launch our meetings. Mary Lou did a mean Mummer Strut. We shared jokes, skits, songs, and dances. We stayed up late looking at the stars and taking silly pictures.

We lead from a sense of knowing ourselves, and understanding ourselves as connected, strong beings who are thoughtful about each other. Mother Theresa says: “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to one another.”

Sister Mary Scullion talked about leadership; how a single stick breaks easily, but five sticks do not break. And at the Resident Advisory Board Retreat we found each other, and found that we all get to be home in our skin. 

“What did you like best about the retreat?” the closing evaluation queried.

“Everyone working and learning together.” “Being around my peers.” “Peace of mind and learning.”  “Dancing and singing--but most of all, the emotional tears at the end.”